you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
