You're so nebulous sometimes
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
