And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
