I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
