he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
