I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
