I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
not ubering you a puppy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
