i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
