What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
