Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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