Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
