the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize