I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
