Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
