My first STD was from a foam party
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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