thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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