im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just found puke in my bra..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
