You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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