one might say we're banned from that church
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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