I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
