In the future we'll all be gay
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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