clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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