I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
