Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
