we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
