Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
