I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
