If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
