And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
