..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
