my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize