Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
birth control should be required to get into college
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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