It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
