Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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