I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
