Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
