once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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