he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Drake has all the answers
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
