Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
