He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
