belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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