My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
