I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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