I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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