Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
3 2 1 whiskey
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
