Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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