idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize