Sry I called you an 8
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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