bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
