whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think my moral compass just broke
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
