You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
