Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
