remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
