Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
