why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
