I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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