He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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