yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize