If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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