i just google imaged poop.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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