Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
