grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
