I've blown a few things in my day
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Green mimosas i think yes
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
