She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
