theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
tell me about the fingering
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