I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My vagina just recognized that song.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize