she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
