Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
