i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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