my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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