I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize